JULY 2001
"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not
depart from it." (Prov. 22:6, NKJV)
STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY: THE CHILDREN
(This is the first of a series of articles dealing with strengthening the
family. In my article, "What Makes A Strong Family," in March 2001, I
dealt with the family in general. Now, I plan to dissect the family structure to
celebrate the healthy parts and hopefully, provide some antidote to strengthen
the weak areas.)
Our children are the hope of the future. Yet, society seems to have a very low
regard for them. Parents give little attention to them. The schools are
struggling with how to teach them. The churches in many cases have overlooked
them and the judicial system, more and more, has decided that they should be
treated like adults. The rise in violent criminal activity and other negative
statistics seems to suggest that our children are in serious trouble. The
psychologist says, "It's behavioral." The psychiatrist says,
"It's a mind thing." The sociologist says, "It's
environmental." The penologist says, "The answer is longer jail
sentences with no privileges.
What are we to do with the New Millennium-children? Doesn't it seem reasonable
that with technological advances, modern teaching methods, an unprecedented
economic boom, and a worldwide religious revival that we should be able to raise
our children?
George Barna in his book, "The Future of the American Family" states
that "recent surveys concur that more than four out of five adults believe
it is more difficult to raise children today than when their parents were
raising them. Parenting has become so burdensome to many adults that they feel
virtually paralyzed by the weight of the decisions they must make. They are
confronted by laws that have increasingly restricted the autonomy of parents,
scientific research that has shown how improper parenting can create long-term
dysfunctional behavior in children, and disputes over education and how to
instill proper values in youngsters. It is not surprising that a 1990 survey by
NORC discovered that 85 percent of the respondents believe that "parents
often feel uncertain about what is the right things to do in raising their
children." And if there is one condition that makes Americans
uncomfortable, it is uncertainty. It often triggers avoidance behavior, which in
this case means not having children (or having few of them)." Is avoidance
the answer to the problem with our children? What are we to do? How can we
strengthen the family by strengthening our children?
I believe the needs of children are the same. I am convinced, that once you cut
through all the superficiality, the basic biblical principles taught by God's
Word still is sufficient for contemporary children. What are those primary
teachings?
First, and foremost, children need to know that they are loved (Eph. 6:4). This
love is "agape." This love is unconditional. One of the most powerful
weapon in parenting is your love for your children. Not love expressed by the
giving of things, but rather a love expressed by the giving of yourself. While
most children like material things, it can never substitute for time with their
parents. Second, and just as important, parents need to discipline their
children (Prov. 23:13; Heb. 12:6ff). Parents need to accept the fact that
discipline is a sign of love. Discipline should be administered, not necessarily
to punish, but rather to restore. Parents should see discipline as a training
tool. Discipline should never be given out of anger. Third, parents need to give
instructions and set parameters (Duet. 6:6ff; Prov. 22:6). Children should have
a clear understanding of what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Often we
send mixed signals. Parents are to train the "child in the way he should
go." Sadly, most of our children get their training from the television and
their peers. It is during the training period, before age 12, that consistent
training should take place - the formative years. Fourth, parents should set
Christian examples for their children to follow (I Co. 11:1; II Tim. 1:5). What
you do in front of your children is much more powerful, than what you say. Words
lose their meaning when not followed up by action. The best way to explain what
a Christian is like―is to be one! Fifth, parents should allow their
children to be themselves (Luke 15:11ff). The Prodigal Son in the story recorded
by Luke wanted his freedom and be away from the influence of his father. The
father allowed the young man to explore new ways and to find himself. He did not
insist that the boy be like him nor try to live his fantasies through his son.
Sixth, parents should be willing to sacrifice some of their desires and wants
for their children. While, it may be better economically for both parents to
work, so you can have more toys (cars, fancy clothes, bigger house, etc), it may
not be the best for your children. Maybe, one parent can work part-time or some
creative shifts so that the children do not have to spend long periods in
daycare. Finally, parents should be their children's spiritual leaders
(Duet.6:1ff). Christ should be the center of your life and of your home. Parents
should teach their children how to pray and the significance of prayer, the
importance of reading God's Word, and encourage regular church attendance by
taking their children to church.
As parents, we are stewards of the children that God has blessed us with. We can
not predict the kind of adults our children will be, however, adherence to the
above principles will surely increase the chances for healthy, well-rounded and
godly children.
If you have been slack in your parenting, confess your faults (Gal. 6:1) and
covenant with God to be the very best parent that you can be. By this, we can
strengthen the family by raising our children.
Copyright © 2001 by
FBC Online